my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What a dumb baby whore.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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