She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
