Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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