I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you would pick up someone in the library
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
