he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize