Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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