I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I want a musical about memes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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