and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
