Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
