so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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