btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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