So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I have post one night stand depression
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