Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
