I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
