Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hippo gnu deer
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
