Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
