Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize