Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
