That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
