There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The power of my boobs compel you
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
