Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Banned from zoo.
Again?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
