Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize