I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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