no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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