so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
