Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
