We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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