Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
