dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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