1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize
