I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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