i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
