Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
