also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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