i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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