On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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