So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You can't special order awesome
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
