Porn is love you can see.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
