There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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