I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
