So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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