Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize