Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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