Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize