I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
