After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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