the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
