The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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