Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hippo gnu deer
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
