I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
you never un-have a 4some
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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