I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
