i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
