This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
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Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I had to cum in my sink.
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