i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
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while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
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my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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