Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize