When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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