I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
