my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
