She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
