I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
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Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....