Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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