In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
