Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think

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(304): Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think http://tfl.nu/bm7u

Replies (16) Good night (648) Bad night (4185)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"

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(515): I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that" http://tfl.nu/9edj

Replies (15) Good night (6196) Bad night (1066)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first

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(902): Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first http://tfl.nu/v8bw

Replies (11) Good night (4629) Bad night (1085)
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(314): View more from Missouri

great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously

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(314): great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously http://tfl.nu/gl7l

Replies (10) Good night (763) Bad night (2340)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you

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(615): Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you http://tfl.nu/wyc5

Replies (8) Good night (3867) Bad night (674)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed

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(781): Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured (617): I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed http://tfl.nu/ilci

Replies (14) Good night (2595) Bad night (769)
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(515): View more from Iowa

he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.

(1-515): View more from Iowa

and you said he wasn't worth calling.

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(515): he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer. (1-515): and you said he wasn't worth calling. http://tfl.nu/rvi9

Replies (17) Good night (1895) Bad night (584)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.

(334): View more from Alabama

I stand by my new policy.

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(334): I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots. (334): I stand by my new policy. http://tfl.nu/bu7l

Replies (4) Good night (1338) Bad night (510)
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(455): View more from

As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."

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(455): As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time." http://tfl.nu/cmn4

Replies (10) Good night (586) Bad night (2169)
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(807): View more from Ontario

The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.

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(807): The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome. http://tfl.nu/ll5l

Replies (1) Good night (1308) Bad night (394)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....

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(708): Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts.... http://tfl.nu/shwj

Replies (11) Good night (768) Bad night (2455)
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(850): View more from Florida

I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.

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(850): I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin. http://tfl.nu/6a77

Replies (5) Good night (1431) Bad night (327)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.

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(202): Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact. http://tfl.nu/fdj2

Replies (3) Good night (461) Bad night (325)
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(256): View more from Alabama

That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.

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(256): That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was. http://tfl.nu/kyou

Replies (1) Good night (639) Bad night (490)
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(707): View more from California

Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa

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(707): Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa http://tfl.nu/616r

Replies (1) Good night (480) Bad night (279)

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