Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him

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  (858): i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him http://tfl.nu/fwf2
  Replies (5) Good night (3213) Bad night (517)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  details please.

  (317): View more from Indiana

  they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."

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  (317): dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life. (1-317): details please. (317): they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first." http://tfl.nu/d384
  Replies (61) Good night (5395) Bad night (587)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.

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  (908): btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life. http://tfl.nu/rg12
  Replies (10) Good night (5288) Bad night (831)
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  (716): View more from New York

  found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college

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  (716): found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college http://tfl.nu/aqwa
  Replies (2) Good night (3303) Bad night (828)
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  (738): View more from

  I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.

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  (738): I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog. http://tfl.nu/tlok
  Replies (22) Good night (1069) Bad night (3939)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.

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  (301): so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq. http://tfl.nu/u32g
  Replies (7) Good night (957) Bad night (1585)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.

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  (618): I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help. http://tfl.nu/o577
  Replies (6) Good night (871) Bad night (1809)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!

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  (704): To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast. (704): Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger! http://tfl.nu/sya3
  Replies (8) Good night (1461) Bad night (673)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka

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  (343): The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka http://tfl.nu/nkji
  Replies (4) Good night (1120) Bad night (764)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thank you for not boning my boss.

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  (630): Thank you for not boning my boss. http://tfl.nu/8tof
  Replies (1) Good night (1078) Bad night (518)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.

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  (+44): Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking. http://tfl.nu/zbnj
  Replies (6) Good night (1096) Bad night (859)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.

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  (920): I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it. http://tfl.nu/sqkc
  Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (259)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.

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  (315): Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount. http://tfl.nu/8uiz
  Replies (1) Good night (294) Bad night (561)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...

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  (432): I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too... http://tfl.nu/soax
  Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (455)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees

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  (702): God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees http://tfl.nu/4nsz
  Replies (3) Good night (340) Bad night (568)

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