Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.

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  (512): stuffed animals make me feel really maternal. http://tfl.nu/jnap
  Replies (3) Good night (1133) Bad night (2348)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.

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  (918): Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building. http://tfl.nu/yoz8
  Replies (44) Good night (6220) Bad night (865)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.

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  (770): i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles. http://tfl.nu/d3lp
  Replies (7) Good night (2994) Bad night (1293)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  his penis is PERFECT

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm

  (802): View more from Vermont

  or knit it little hat

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  (802): his penis is PERFECT (802): I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm (802): or knit it little hat http://tfl.nu/4cuj
  Replies (37) Good night (10089) Bad night (1560)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.

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  (+44): I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years. http://tfl.nu/naiq
  Replies (5) Good night (3068) Bad night (979)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.

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  (330): the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom. http://tfl.nu/2arl
  Replies (12) Good night (5106) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.

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  (423): no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet. http://tfl.nu/ph90
  Replies (10) Good night (2907) Bad night (1311)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.

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  (989): Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it. http://tfl.nu/2dh1
  Replies (2) Good night (1956) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.

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  (703): There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened. http://tfl.nu/llik
  Replies (19) Good night (1603) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.

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  (608): Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out. http://tfl.nu/np60
  Replies (10) Good night (1619) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Thank god I got my shit together

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  (203): Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment (410): Thank god I got my shit together http://tfl.nu/mezm
  Replies (2) Good night (1014) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.

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  (914): I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go. http://tfl.nu/xxmp
  Replies (2) Good night (1079) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.

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  (917): I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady. http://tfl.nu/stai
  Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.

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  (513): Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical. http://tfl.nu/hqhp
  Replies (3) Good night (700) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (087): View more from

  HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS

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  (087): HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS http://tfl.nu/jjz8
  Replies (0) Good night (441) Bad night (143)

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