I heard we made out
My friends, they love my intelligence
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
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You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
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He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks