No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
